Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes :)

Hello long lost blog friends!

I've been MIA for a few days, getting my thoughts together and to be honest, just being SUPER busy! We are in the last 3 weeks of our summer program at work and the stress level has been high.  Most of the stress is due to this HORRIBLE heat. We broke a record today with this awful weather.  Apparently here in Fort Smith the most consecutive days in a row that i was over 100 degrees was 25.  Today marks day 26 and there is no end in sight for the triple digits! We haven't had rain in over a month!

Per DHS, the kids can't go outside for more than 10 minutes at a time if it is over 90 degrees and they can't  go out if it's over 100. ((This is fine by me, I hate being out there when it's scorching just as much as they do)) The problem is, we are all going a little stir crazy!!  By the end of the day, I want to do nothing!!

*Okay, end rant!*

If you read my last post, you know that I've been struggling with life decisions. I'm a bit over half way through with my education degree and still don't quite know if it's what I want. So after talking to the hubby, I've decided to graduate with my Associates degree in December and then take a bit of time off to figure out what in the world I want to do! I had a much needed conservation with my sister in law, and she gave me some good advice. "Don't worry about what other people think. Do what makes YOU happy. If you don't like something, change it." :)  For now, I'm going to work full time for awhile. I'm just burnt out, and I think that's okay. It happens!

This weekend I'm going to have my 2 nieces and nephew. I've missed them! I promise to be a good blogger and take lots of pictures of what we do! :)   I hope everyone is having a good week!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Life would be so much easier.....

If I had a magic genie to make all of the hard decisions for me! :)

I wasn't sure if I should blog about this or not. This might just be a completely random post, but who knows? It could be interesting, and I've come to realize that blogging is very therapeutic. Here goes nothing.

My entire life I have always been a little out of place.  In my family, I am what you would call the "exception."  I came from a pretty broken home most of the time. My parents were always on and off. I knew about things that no children should have to know about.  I saw the fights.  I saw the drugs.  I lived in total chaos.  Instead of repeating the cycle I wanted nothing more but to get out.  I worked hard in school.  Kept my grades up. I didn't do this because I got praise from my parents (trust me, I didn't) I did it because I wanted to be different.  In many ways, I am.  I've never touched a drug in my life.  I'm a lover, not a fighter.  I am strong and dedicated. I am proud of the person I am today, but the person I am today comes with many scars.

I struggle with forgiveness.  I struggle with letting go.  I struggle with being a doormat.  I struggle with low self esteem. I struggle with finishing things. Growing up, when times got tough, my parents quit.  This is a constant struggle for me.

Most people don't know any of this about me. I hide things well.

Right now, I'm struggling.  I'm struggling with who I am.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my life. I love my wonderful husband and our two little fur babies.  I'm happy and content, but I'm struggling. All of my friends graduated from college last year and since I made poor choices in school and then did a drastic major change, I still have 4 semesters left before I graduate. All of my friends are getting their "big girl" jobs now and I feel so lost, so left behind.  All of this is my fault.  I can blame it on my past all I want to  (and trust me, I would like to) but the poor decisions I made after high school were all my own.

I didn't go off and do drugs or do anything illegal. I didn't have a baby. After high school I went straight to working a full time job. I did this for 2 years before I realized I was being STUPID.  That I wasting my life at a dead end job.

Here I am, a few years later and still feel as lost as 19 year old me. I'm half way through with my education degree and some days I'm positive it's where I should be.  Other days I wonder what in the world I am doing. I'm embarrassed to admit that to people! Especially people who are older, the hubs fam and such. Everyone seems so put together....

I hope I am not the only 23 year old who still has no idea what the future holds.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Friend Making Monday!!

Please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Ten Random Questions

1) What do you like most about yourself? 
I've always prided myself on always putting others before myself.  This is a value that was always stressed to me when I was younger. Now that I've grown up, though, I am realizing that this is also a flaw. I have to remind myself that it's OKAY to do something for myself sometimes. 

2) List three characteristics that you like to have in your friends. Loyalty, Sense of Humor, and Fun!

3) How often do you brush your teeth? Twice....Once. That's horrible, I know!

4) If you could travel anywhere today, where would you go? I really, really want to go on an all inclusive vacation to like Jamaica or somewhere!

5) Have you ever met anyone from the blog world in person? Nope, not yet!

6) What is the last show you watched on TV? Oh goodness, I can't even remember. The hubby and I got rid of cable months ago! I do watch a few shows on the internet still. I really miss my TLC shows!

7) What kind of perfume/cologne do you wear? I don't have just one favorite.  I have all kinds of stuff in there.  I have quite a few from Bath and Body Works that I wear. I love the Twilight Woods one. I have Pink from Victoria Secret and I have a whole set of Britney Spears perfume that my SIL got me for Christmas.  I usually just grab whatever is close and spray!

8)  How long ago did you complete your last workout? Does treading through water for 6+ hours a day count?? I sure was sore afterwards!! I've been at the lake for 4 days and now have a terrible cold, so it has been almost a week since a REAL workout.

9) What will you eat for dinner tonight? Good question.  I am not sure yet.  I feel YUCKY and have to work 12 hours tomorrow so I plan on doing something quick and simple and then heading to bed suuuuper early!

10) Share something fun that you did over the weekend.  This weekend we went to the lake with my family and friends and we really had a blast.  We took the boat out some and swam more than I ever had in a weekend.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Counting Down the Days!


Aww. It looks so peaceful! On Thursday my husband and I, along with my entire family and four best friends are going to Hot Springs Village for some fun on the lake. I plan on being completely disconnected.....including my cell phone. *gasp*  It has been way too long since I've been disconnected from the world. Sadly, it's not uncommon for my husband and I to both have our phones out at the dinner table. (That's something we need to change!)

I promise I'm going to become a better blogger and start taking more pictures! I do have an excuse right now....
My poor phone

Yes. That's my phone. The one I am actually using!! I'm up for upgrade on Thursday but I just don't know what I want to get.  I hate that as soon as you get a new phone better ones come the next day. lol I really do want the Iphone 5 but I don't think it's coming out until September. I can't wait that long! I used to always take pictures on my phone, now...not so much.

Anyway! This has been a tad bit random! Hope everyone is having a good week!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hair Cut!

It has been well over a year since I've cut my hair, probably closer to 2. That's horrible, I know! So today I finally did it.  I didn't take any before pictures like a good blogger would have. (I'll get there!)

My long hair a few weeks ago.

Short Hair.

I really like it!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Thinking Thin Blog Hop!

So Emily over at  Fat Girl to Thin started a new blog hop called Thinking Thin. Today's question is:

Why did you start blogging?

I originally started blogging last year as a weight loss tool.  There is a TON of support through blogging, and I ended up "meeting" a lot of interesting people.  As time went on, though, I realized I loved blogging and not just about weight related issues. Blogging is a great outlet. It's also a great way to keep in touch and let people take a look into your lives. I have some cousins that blog as well and it's so nice to hear about them in more than just a Facebook status.

So tomorrow is HAIRCUT day! I'm cutting at LEAST 8 inches off of my hair. I'm super nervous. I'll post pics!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Goals for the Week

Today has been a total MONDAY.  As much as I love three day weekends, the day after always drags on and on and on and.....well you get the picture.  I work at a preschool/daycare and all day today I wanted to follow Monday's schedule.  Luckily, my kids took it upon themselves to constantly remind me that I was off today. :) Those precious little dev.....angels.

I didn't go tot he gym this morning because my sunburn was not going to allow it.  I'm still a little sore this evening, but it should be fine in the morning. Regardless, though, I'll be at the gym at 6am.  I haven't been to the gym since.....wait for it....


I know, horrible. As soon as school got out I started working and getting up to workout before work did not sound the least bit appealing. The time has come to put on the big girl panties, stop making excuses, and just GO. I made the hubby set an extra alarm so I will get up and I am going to pack my gym bag tonight.

Since I'm not good with this whole long term goal thing. ((Who has the patience for that?!)) I've decided to just set weekly goals that I know I can achieve:

1.Work out in the gym for the next 4 days straight.
2.Drink at least 100oz of water a day.
3.Get at least 8 hours of sleep.
4.Have a protein shake after every workout.

I'm going to officially weigh in using the scales at the gym tomorrow. Our scale will vary between 5-10lbs every time you get off and on. We really need to invest in a better one!

Hope everyone is having a good week!!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Friend Making Monday

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. 

FMM: What are your plans for today??
This has been a whirlwind weekend. We had my 2 year old niece for two nights and that kid can wear you out FAST. The hubby and I are severely sunburned so we actually plan to stay in today. I really want to see Transformers, so we might just do that and grab some dinner later this evening. Most of the fireworks shows were last night, but there is one more tonight that we might catch some of. Is it super sad that i haven't seen any fireworks this year yet? haha

I hoping my sunburn gets better today because I have to work tomorrow AND i would like to be in the gym tomorrow. At this point I can't even wear a tank top without being in PAIN!

Happy 4th of July Everyone!!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Beginning

First of all, I must admit that I am a compulsive blog reader.  There are quite a few blogs that I have followed religiously for nearly a year now.  Last year I started my own weight loss blog.  It was so much fun to "meet" people from all over the world.  In time though, I realized that the blog was shifting away from the weight loss aspect of things. Although my healthiness journey will be a big part of this blog, there is so much more to me than that because life is so much more than that.

I have yet to figure out this whole blogger thing, so over the next few weeks I hope to get all of my pages set up and have some definite structure going on! For now I will leave you with this 11 Layers of Me Quiz.

LAYER ONE: On the Outside--

Full Name: Amanda Kaye Brown (Formerly Amanda Kaye McKinney)
Birthday: June 16, 1988
School: University of Arkansas- Fort Smith

Major: Early Childhood Education
Current Location: Fort Smith, AR
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: brown
Righty or Lefty: Right
Zodiac Sign: gemini

LAYER TWO: On the Inside

Your Heritage: Irish and German
Your Fears: I have a huge fear of grasshoppers. All bugs really, but grasshoppers are like a phobia.
Weakness: White Chocolate. YUM!
Goal(s): My main goal is mostly just happiness. It has taken a very long time for me to realize that you have to make yourself happy FIRST.  You are never, ever going to please everyone.
Relieve Stress: Cleaning.
What upsets you: at the moment? Judgmental People.

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow--

Your thoughts first waking up: '"My sunburn hurts!!!"
Your bedtime: I go to bed early!
Your most missed memory: I miss being a kid with no worries.

LAYER FOUR: You’re picking--

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi! Although I am trying really hard not to drink any soda!
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds for sure. I need to add their fries to my weakness category.
Single or Group dates: It just depends. I love both!
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Neither.
Chocolate or Vanilla: If we are talking about cake, definitely vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino. 


Do Drugs: Nope
Think you've been in love: Only with my wonderful husband!!
Want to get married: I am married.
Believe in yourself: Most of the time. :)

LAYER SIX: In the Past Month--

Drank alcohol: Yes
Gone to the mall: Yes, today.
Eaten Sushi: Yes, twice!
Gone skating: Nope.
Colored your hair: No
Done something exciting: Nothing too terribly exciting. I have been working a lot!

LAYER SEVEN: Have You Ever?--

Changed who you were to fit in: Yes
Hid something from someone: Yes

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Old--
Age you're hoping to get married: I always said by 23, but I was 21 when I got married!
Age you're hoping to have children: 27-30? Who knows what the future holds??
Want to travel to: Lots of places which is a big reason why we want to wait to have children.

LAYER NINE: Perfect Mate-- (aka describe Wayne!)

Best Eye Color: Green
Best Hair Color: brown
Short or Long Hair: short

LAYER TEN: What were you doing--

5 MINUTES AGO: working on this blog.
1 HOUR AGO: working on this blog.
1 DAY AGO: watching a movie with my hubby
1 YEAR AGO: Oh gosh, who knows??

LAYER ELEVEN: Finish the Sentence--

I Love: my wonderful husband!
I Feel: like I have had too much sun.
I Hate: this horrible summer heat!
I Hide: my feelings sometimes.
I Miss: some old friends.

I Need: to do laundry.